Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
