hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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