All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
