So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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