dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Damn victory sex feels great
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
