he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I think your dad took our porno
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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