idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I deserve this hangover.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
