I hope mine doesn't look like that
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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