I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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