I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
