He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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