so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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