just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
