When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
