He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Alive.
So much puke
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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