she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
