Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
