i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
