I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
tell me about the eggs
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