All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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