Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
