O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
