So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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