he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
