so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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