he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
