So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
