If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
