Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize