Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
