How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
