oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
