i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
