he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
