i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
