I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
