did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
