My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
