we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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