If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
