jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
