Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize