I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
