I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND THE LEGS
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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