dude i'm inner monologue high
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I love having hate sex.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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