Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
