I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
