I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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