some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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