But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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