You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
