wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
