Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
