I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I am midnight drunk by noon
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
