FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
