Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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