His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.