Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Oh god it's open bar.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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