I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
