My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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