If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
