and i looked up. we had an audience...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
